This has been sent to England Watch so we thought we should share it with you!
David Cameron was in his Office when his telephone rang.
“Hello, Prime Minister” a heavily accented Cornish voice said. “This is Archie from Mebyon Kernow, we’re down here at ‘The Cornish Miner’ in Truro, and I am just ringing to say that we are officially declaring war on England”
“Well, Archie,” Cameron replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Archie, after a moments calculation “there is myself, my cousin Jack, my next-door-neighbour Andy, and the whole darts team from The Red Lion. That makes eight!”
Cameron paused. “I must tell you Archie that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Wow,” said Archie. “I’ll have to ring you back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr Cameron, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some military equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Archie?” Cameron asked.
“Well, sir, we have two Land Rovers, a JCB, and Harry’s farm tractor with the snow plough.”
Cameron sighed. “I must tell you Archie, that I have 1,000 tanks and 4,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to 110,000 since we last spoke.”
“Err right,” said Archie, “I’ll get back to you.”
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
“Prime Minister! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call this war off.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” said Cameron. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well, sir,” said Archie, “we’ve sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a pint and came to realize that there’s just no way that we can feed that many prisoners.”